georgia confidential

a loving message for our friends in homeland security

Hi. Rough week. Here's the thing:

Don't make the rest of us do stupid, time-consuming things at the airport just because you screwed up. Yes, I care about "homeland security." You should too. That's why we have a no-fly list. And intelligence [in both senses of the word.] If you use them, then little old ladies from Dubuque and frequent-flier sales people from Peoria and little old me don't have to go through the rigamarole to prove we are not intent on blowing up the American Eagle Connection.

You have the tools and technology. Use them. Don't inflict pointless searches on us because, I promise you, we are not carrying explosive powder in our underpants.

In our business we hear a lot about the 80-20 rule. Look it up. Then apply it: focus on the 20 percent (more like 5 percent, I'd wager). Ground them. Leave the rest of us alone.

Happy new year.

grudge match

We had a wonderful Christmas -- one of the best ever. We hardly did anything except just hang out, laugh, and spend time together. I'm not a big one for games but we play plenty of them since three young masters enjoy them. My brother (who tries his best to tamp down his competitive urges) found a copy of an old card game, Mille Bornes, that our neighbors used to play. In a moment of weakness I agreed to play with my nephew, parents, and siblings. It was fun -- but let there be no doubt, it was ON. Here's a little snippet, shot with my new pocket videorecorder.

Download Mille Borne

home for the holidays

For Christmas Eve service we went to the Episcopal church in our neighborhood. I was lured by the promise of traditional carols, traditional liturgy, traditional vestments. It was a beautiful, high holy service, perfumed by incense. Deep in my bones, I love ritual.

One of the joys (and burdens) of coming back to the hometown is that it's impossible to go anywhere without running into someone I know. In this instance I saw people from nearly every phase of my time at [the company where I work] but the biggest surprise was my high school principal. Yes, it's been 25 years since I last saw him.

He was ushering at this service, and was one of the final people to receive Communion. It was special to see him, and everyone, in this special time and place.

My dad and I talked to the ex-principal briefly after the service and I said, "You probably can't go anywhere in this town without seeing a former student!"

"Yes, he said,"a lot of time people will come up to me and say, 'You don't remember me, do you?' and all I can say is, 'Well, it depends ... how much time did you spend in my office?"

the great frame-up

A house isn't really home for me until all the artwork is up on the walls. I have a lot of artwork, some of which has never been framed nor shown in my private gallery (aka the hall). And so it was that I trundled off to the mega-craft store to buy some frames, because getting them custom done is just darn pricey.

Mapgirl Dark Secret #79: I am not good at selecting /assembling / doing anything with frames that does not involve getting them custom done.

waterfalls

People call me a Jonah. They think I brought all this rain with me from Northern Ireland. Truth is, I like the rain. When it's outside, that is. Yesterday morning I woke up to find streams of water trickling down my bedroom wall. I tried to think positively about it: "Hey, my room now has a water feature!"

This was followed by more negative thoughts. And a frantic search to find the source of the leak. Eventually I had to go to work. And it continued to rain the whole day. And the whole night. Now I have a little striped pattern on my wall as a result of the water feature.

I did get someone to come by and we found the point of origin -- but we're not sure what is causing the leak. It's a mystery. The good news is, the sun shone for about 12 minutes today, and its supposed to be dry tomorrow. A second sleuth is expected within a few days so we can get this settled once and for all.

things i could have gone on not knowing

• Someone died in my childhood bedroom before we lived there. Apparently it was a young child. My sister dropped this fact in conversation during a visit last weekend. I had no idea. No, nothing ever seemed strange or spooky in that room. It's still one of my favorite places in the world. But that's just bizarre.
• There are snakes in my yard. At this very minute. My neighbor told me Sunday. Her daughter saw them as they were in my yard playing in the pile of fallen leaves. I think this might be a campaign of terror to get me to rake them. Joke's on you guys; it has had the opposite effect. But I do have moments of panic: can a snake scale a stair?
• There are a lot of calories in a Chil-Fil-A shake. A terrifying number. In fact, that's the scariest thing I learned this week.

migratory pattern

A special fowl has arrived in these climes, the elusive Foobird..** The migration will be short one [just a weekend, one of the advantages of living near the country's busiest airport] but it is busy.

The Foobird is a nester, so a fair bit of time has been spent on the local habitat. Some attention was devoted to plumage as well via the local massage therapist. The Foobird has a wide range of dietary habits, usually involving crackers or tortilla chips, which are found in these parts.

The Foobird has strong powers of listening and observation which were put to good use during conversation and trips around the migration area. The Foobird was on display to the handful of trick-or-treaters who enjoyed her exotic calls.

Tomorrow she flies back to the original ground from which she came. She will be missed, but we look forward to the next season in which she will swoop in with her love and brightness. She is the best of the flock.

______________________

** aka my sister

where the wild things are

I gambled a bit in going to the Atlanta Botanical Garden today. I wanted to see the "Moore in America" sculpture exhibit and there are only two weekends left. Today the weather was absolutely perfect: mid-60s and sunny, with fall colors at their peak. I didn't want to risk waiting; at the same time, going today meant sharing the garden with a zillion families, notably little tykes dressed up in Halloween finery for "Goblins in the Garden."

You know my motto: Fortune favors the brave. And a special kind of courage is called for when you arrive at the botanical garden and find scores of bees, frogs, alligators, Batmen, Spider-Men, princesses, pumpkins and Maxes* already there before you.

Yes, they were adorable. Each and every one of them was incredibly sweet, as they rode the little train and painted pumpkins and handled earthworms in the "petting zoo." Those Botanical Garden people are marketing geniuses. So many parents, so much purchasing power.

Halloween is reaching near-Christmas proportions in its advent and longevity, but I'm beginning to think that's fueled in part by parents wanting to maximize their investment in the children's costume. The more events that take place around Halloween, the more opportunities to wear the costume, so the better you feel about buying the fancy costume. There were some pretty elaborate ones on display today.

I wanted to take pictures of some of them but that could be frightening from the parents' point of view. I do wish I'd snapped some pics of my all-time favorite little guy, who was dressed as a UPS delivery man, complete with parcel to be delivered. The get-up was absolutely perfect, a UPS-brand badge on the front of his tiny brown shirt. His mom saw my delighted expression and explained, "He loves UPS. He loves our UPS driver, whose name is Mr. Ricky. So when I asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween, he said, 'Mr. Ricky.' " Oh, it was priceless.

I hope he was featured in the parade at 3:15 p.m. I'll never know, though -- by then I was long gone and celebrating the day at a bistro in Decatur. Roll on October!

_____________________

* as in Max, the hero of the book/movie "Where the Wild Things Are"

yes, i am alive

Oh mapgirl, you are saying, where have you been? We were beginning to wonder if the blog had closed.

No, it has not. But I haven't posted in so long, my weblog software has completely changed and I'm going to need a tutorial to learn more about it.

What I have I been up to? I have had lots of nice visitors and lots of not-as-nice chores. I even went to Peoria for a couple days. If I didn't see you during that trip, please do not be angry or hurt. I saw no one! Not even for lunch. Sad but true. No Hofbrau. No Tanners. But somehow I did manage to make it to Avanti's.

Did I have any adventures? A few. These all shall be revealed in good time.

the margaritas are on me

I'm not sure if this story is amusing or pathetic, but here's how I spent my Thursday night:

I wanted Mexican food. I have craved it for weeks and decided I was due. Armed with a healthy appetite and a fresh magazine, I went to a place where I previously had seen some mellow, nearly sleep-inducing live music. I was all set for a quiet, librarian-ish evening.

But as fate would have it they seated this solo diner in a booth adjacent to the host of Trivia Night. I found this mildly annoying. I wanted to read and sip a margarita. I hadn't ordered yet, and I considered leaving. Just then the host came by and gave me a pen, invited my "team" to join in the fun -- all for free.

Okay, Team Mapgirl signed on. And won in a squeaker. (My NI United Nations Pub Quiz team would have reigned supreme.) The grand prize was a $15 gift certificate to the restaurant. Let me know when you want to join the team and cash in the coupon.